I’m still alive, I promise!

05Dec08

I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but it’s been a while again. I didn’t fall off the face of the Earth, I promise. I’ve just been forced to think about some things.

It’s the end of the semester, and my goal of being able to post once a week at minimum obviously was not met. In some ways, though I think that was the best for me. Why you ask? Because I learned an incredibly important life lesson this semester: I have limits.

Seems like it should have been simple enough, but it was something that I hadn’t fully understood before now. If I had, there would have been no way that I would have scheduled myself for 20 credits, accepted the editor-in-chief job for the Pleiad, marching band, and a work schedule in the Alumni Office. After three months of approximately 6 hours of sleep a night, no really free weekends, and an incredibly hectic daytime schedule I now know that I cannot do it all. How do I know? For starters…

  • My body rebelled–I spent more time sick and exhausted this semester than ever before, which resulted in me missing more classes than I ever have before.
  • The quality of my work suffered because I was rushed or exhausted when attempting to do it.
  • I was not able to do my job as EIC to the best of my ability. The paper coasted this semester, in large part thanks to my wonderful staff, in particular my managing editor.
  • I had no social life on campus. I actually have had people ask me if I transferred because they haven’t seen me. On a campus the size of Albion’s (enrollment circa 2,000) that’s saying something.

I’ve learned from my mistakes.

Next semester, though I’ve registered for a full course load, it’s a normal course load. 18 credits, including my work on the Pleiad not above and beyond it. I’ve accepted the position of online editor–a position that a) better suits my interests in journalism and b) has more reasonable hours for someone who has to take a full course load. I am not doing band for the first time in over a decade. And I acknowledge that I cannot live without sleep or social interaction and maintain my health or my sanity.

The choice to step back from my responsibilites and commitments was a hard one–I’ve always been the one to add more to my plate, not to take stuff away (obviously this is metaphorical, otherwise I’d be like 300 lbs :D ). The concept of leaving something behind was subconsciously equated with failure. I was “quitting” because I “couldn’t hack it.” I’m working against that line of thinking; it doesn’t do anything for me. It’s an uphill road, but I’m pretty sure that I’ll be happier for taking on this challenge.

Now, I’ve taken out enough time to update you all on why I’ve been absent and how revolutionary my many near-breakdowns have been for me. I should get on to the four or five final papers I have waiting for me. Oh joy.


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